Don’t do this on your first online date
First dates can be nerve-wracking! In the video above, we share our disastrous first dates. But we didn’t let these negative experiences stop us from online dating. It took a couple of years of being online before we found each other (thanks, Tinder!) and during that time we each learned a lot about what to do — and what not to do — on a first date with someone you connect with on the dating apps.
Here’s what we learned about how to approach first dates:
DON’T ❌
Go out for dinner (who wants to sit through a meal if you know right away there isn’t a connection?)
Ditto the movies. What’s the point of sitting two hours next to each other in silence?
Kiss or even hug, if you aren’t completely comfortable doing so. Remember, this person is a stranger to you.
Bad mouth your ex — or anyone else. Keep it positive.
Check your phone — give your date the courtesy of your attention.
Drink alcohol — you need your wits about you.
Share your home address. Arrange for your own transport to and from the date.
DO ✅
Engage in a relaxing activity beforehand if you are nervous about the date (listen to music, watch your favourite show, have a bath or go to the gym).
Remember the importance of body language: Make eye contact, greet the person with a warm handshake and lean in if you are interested in them.
Ask a couple of thoughtful questions and leave room for the other person to do the same (if they don’t reciprocate, don’t bother with a second date).
Struggling with what to say on a first date? This link has lots of great suggestions.
Keep it short—30 minutes to an hour. (If you are both having a great time, by all means, keep the date going). On the other hand, if you know there’s no chance of a connection, leave at the half-hour mark—or earlier if they are being rude or making you feel uncomfortable. You can look at your phone and say something’s come up, and you need to leave.
Dress for comfort, rather than glamour.
Arrive on time. Punctuality says a lot about a person.
Remember to tell a friend where you will be.
Have realistic expectations — take the pressure off by telling yourself you are “just practising” online dating or just meeting a potential friend — not your soulmate.
Be honest. (Never lie about your age, your height or anything else.)
Tell the person it was nice meeting them and suggest you each reflect on the date and get in touch later on the app (that way no one feels pressure to ask the other person out) and it gives you an easy out if you aren’t interested. You can simply text them later and write: “It was nice meeting you. However, I didn’t feel the connection I’m looking for. Good luck to you.”)
Give yourself a pep talk if the date doesn’t go as well as you hoped. Don’t bother wondering why you two weren’t the right match. Instead, move on. Don’t blame yourself, accept that you may have to meet a number of people before you find the right one and focus on setting up your next date.
