7 Ways to Improve Your Online Dating Experience
I’ve been where you are.
Wondering if you’ll ever meet a decent guy.
Wondering how long that might possibly take.
Wondering why the pickings seem so slim online.
Wondering why the guy you like isn’t texting you back.
Wondering what to say to the guy you really don’t want to go out with.
Yeah, it’s a lot like high school.
Except you’re over 50 now. And you don’t have the time or patience for this mating game.
And yet — you’d like a mate. Or at least a companion. Maybe even a lover. Or maybe just a male friend.
The trick with online dating is having the confidence — and the ability to not take rejection personally — so you can persevere in your pursuit of finding a great date despite all the fish pics, the ghosting, and the potential scammers.
What helps is to arm yourself with solid information about how to approach the whole process so you can set yourself up for success. That’s what Amit and I provide.
As Canada’s only male-female online dating coaches we share our own personal experiences with online dating in our dating workshops. We’ve been where you are. We know what it’s like to be single and looking online when you are in midlife or older. We know how frustrating it can be.
We also know how rewarding it can be.
Chatelaine magazine recently sent a writer to How to Meet a Man Online
Nadine wrote a great article about her experience which you can read here.
Here are 7 tips we shared with her that she included in her article:
Step outside of your comfort zone. Consider widening out from your usual parameters,” says Amit Karia. “Maybe the guy is a little shorter than what you normally go for. Maybe he’s a few years younger than you. Or from a different ethnic group. Be open to possibility. Remember that life is full of surprises.”
Have a thick skin. Don’t take rejection personally, says Anne Bokma.
Set a time limit. Consider how much time you want to spend on the apps, and don’t let online dating take over your life.
Adjust your expectations. “Some women…want a guy who is six feet tall, handsome and handy, makes great money and knows how to wine and dine them. These things are pretty superficial when you think about it,” says Bokma. “What really matters is character, values, and personality. Yes, you have to be attracted [to them], but be wary of the smooth-talking players and look for the guys with substance.”
Be selective. “For every time I swiped right, I probably swiped left about 100 times,” says Bokma. A healthy amount of skepticism will also help you stay safe. Catfishing—when someone is not who they pretend to be—is on the rise, so if you see a Brad Pitt-type, it’s possible they aren’t who they say they are. Do a bit of research before you give them personal information or arrange to meet up. Ask them some key questions. For instance, if they say they are from a particular city or town or have a certain profession, ask questions that only someone with that experience would know to validate that they are who they say they are. And don’t be afraid to Google them or look them up on social media.
Make the first move. Get to the first date as soon as possible to see if there’s a true possibility for a connection. Then approach that first date with a sense of calm, confidence, and positive energy. Choose a low-pressure activity in a public place, like going for coffee or a walk in a popular spot. “Say to yourself, ‘I’m just meeting somebody,’” recommends Bokma.
Have a strategy for wrapping up the first date. When you’re ready to say goodbye, let yourself off the hook with a casual “Let’s think about how things went.” Be courteous, but remember that you don’t owe anybody anything. Use the app’s security features and block anyone with unacceptable behaviour. “Don’t give people too many second chances online,” says Bokma.
This is the sort of material we cover in our workshop. We hope you’ll consider signing up.
