Not Having Any Luck Finding Great People to Date Online? We hear you.
Since launching Chapter Two Dating a year ago, we’ve received lots of feedback from women who are frustrated about online dating. The biggest question we get is:
“Does it really work?”
Well, yes, of course, it does. We’re proof positive, after all. (We met on Tinder 18 months ago.) But also – no, it doesn’t work for some. We’ll tell you why in a minute.
This is a recent email we received that’s indicative of the kind of situations a lot of older single women are in and why some are about to give up on the online world altogether.
We get Mary’s frustration. The truth is, the older you are the more challenging it can be to meet a great guy online. (FYI, we met when Anne was 58 and Amit was 56). That’s why you need to learn to employ a few good strategies to boost your odds of success. (We share these strategies in detail in our online dating workshops for women over 50)
Plenty of women over 60 do find their match in the online world. Sure, luck may be part of it – but what’s most important is how you present yourself, whether you’re willing to stick with it for the long haul and how savvy you are about the whole process.
Why doesn’t online dating work for some? Here are 3 reasons why that may be the case:
Your dating profile isn’t as strong as it could be: Great photos that show off your personality (and smile) are a must. Engaging words in your profile are important too – we suggest short paragraphs or a point-form style with telling details that will give prospective dates something to ask you about. Check out this article by Anne on how to put your best face forward in your online dating profile. (FYI, we can help you craft a compelling profile.)
You won't make the first move: Some older women have been conditioned to believe that the man should always make the first move. Not true! If you see someone who you think looks interesting, send a text with a comment about something you like about his profile. Ask him a question, which will hopefully lead to an online conversation. (If he doesn’t respond with a question for you, move on.) According to this CNN article, women are 2.5 times more likely to get a response than men if they initiate contact.
You aren’t prepared to stick with online dating for at least a year or more: At this stage in life, a great relationship doesn’t just happen. Online dating is work and it takes time to find the right person. It’s like having your resume out there with a bunch of companies when you are looking for a job. Just as you might need to go on quite a few job interviews to land the right position, you need to do the same when online dating. Aim for a goal of a date every week or two — over the course of a year that’s 25-50 dates. It takes time and effort to meet the right match. Be patient, be resilient, and be prepared to be in it for the long haul.
