What happened when Emily got the first-time dating jitters
We caught up with Emily, a 63-year-old widow in Ontario, who had recently jumped back into the dating pool, albeit a little hesitantly. She did a lot of things right, including taking our How to Get Great Dates Online Workshop, hiring us for a couple of coaching sessions to craft her dating profile, arrange for great photos and help her select the dating site that was right for her. When she uploaded her profile she panicked. She was flooded with messages—some charming, others simply... "Hi there." Feeling overwhelmed, Emily needed a moment to breathe.
During a quick phone session, we reassured her: "Take your time. No need to respond to every single message immediately. Breathe. Step back, sip some tea, and only reply when you're ready." We advised her to be picky—this wasn’t a race; it was a selective hunt through the jungle of "Hey, beautiful" and "U up?" messages.
Two days later, Emily was back on the line, this time much calmer. She was gearing up for her first coffee date in years, and guess what? She was excited. We knew she’d be just fine.
Ready to Dive into Online Dating? Here's How to Survive (and Thrive) Like Emily:
Take your time, seriously: You don't need to respond the minute someone hits you up. Craft thoughtful responses and be choosy. Dating is not Amazon Prime; there's no 2-day shipping deadline.
Block the “hi there” brigade: If someone can’t muster more than two words, block and move on. You’re looking for a partner, not someone who texts like a telegraph.
Be the chooser: Don’t just wait for the messages to roll in. Scan the profiles, make the first move with a witty comment or ask a question. Own your dating game.
Cut to the chase: Don’t waste weeks messaging back and forth. After a few exchanges, propose a short coffee meet-up. If someone keeps dodging it? Red flag. They might be more catfish than catch.
Keep the first date short and sweet: Aim for a half-hour coffee date or a quick walk in a public park. You can always extend the date if sparks are flying (or politely exit if they aren’t).
Long-distance no-no’s: Unless you’re up for a travel-heavy relationship, stick to local candidates. Block anyone who’s more than an hour away. Your love life should be less road trip, more local café.
Balance caution with optimism: Stay smart but keep your heart open.
Guard your personal info: Don’t share your email, phone number, or last name until you feel comfortable.
Think “potential friend,” not soulmate: Take the pressure off. The goal isn’t to meet “the one” right away. Think of it as exercising your long dormant dating muscles.
End dates gracefully: Awkward endings? We’ve got you covered. Suggest you both take a day to think things over, then connect via the app. If you're not feeling it, a simple “Nice meeting you but I’m sorry, I didn’t feel the connection I was looking for.”
Online dating may feel like a marathon, but these strategies will help you pace yourself. The reward? Meeting someone who truly clicks with you.
