Why in the world are women still getting scammed on dating sites?
This stolen image was used by a man on the online dating platform Zoosk who eventually scammed almost $500,000 from a Calgary woman.
The headlines are heartbreaking — and oh so common. Women losing their life savings to online con artists.
Women who fell deeply into debt after falling deeply for someone who claimed to love them. Women who are so ashamed of the terrible predicament they’ve found themselves in that they have considered suicide.
You don’t have to look far to find a woman who has been scammed online while looking for love. Just check out these recent Canadian news stories:
Calgary woman swindled out of nearly $500K in online dating scam
Brantford senior loses $400K in online dating scam, police say
Mississauga woman loses more than $250,000 in ‘romance scam’: Police
Waterloo man charged in alleged romance scam worth more than $2 million
These women (and to be sure, there are plenty of men who get scammed too) are faced with financial ruin, starting their lives over, often at a later age in life. They don’t want to tell anyone what’s happened to them so they isolate and begin to live a life of fear and mistrust.
It’s simply awful.
Women who haven’t dated in years — or in decades — are especially vulnerable. They don’t understand the rules of online dating, how savvy they must be in order to navigate the apps. They are often too trusting and too naïve.
One of the goals of our signature How To Get Great Dates Online workshop is to help women feel safe when they are looking for love and companionship online. That’s why we detail the specific tips they need to know to prevent being scammed.
Once women understand how to be safe, they feel more confident. And confidence is key to successfully meeting potential matches.
There are several red flags we cover in our workshop. Here are two of them:
🚩 #1: They make excuses not to meet in person:
If someone isn’t willing to meet you face to face within a week or two, be very suspicious. The whole point of using the apps is to get to the date, not to engage in chitchat online. Scammers will flatter and woo you online without ever intending to meet. If you ask for a meeting and they stall, block them and move on. You don’t owe them any explanations.
🚩 #2: They are “temporarily” out of the country:
Beware of anyone who claims to live near you but is currently overseas — working on an oil rig, as a physician, engineer or anything else. Ask yourself — “Why are they messaging me if they are so far away?” Trust us, it’s a scam. Again, block and move on.
Be aware that these con artists are very, very good at what they do — which is why Canadians lost more than $50 million to romance scams last year. And absolutely anyone is capable of being scammed.
Consider this story, “The Day I Put $50,000 in a Shoe Box and Handed It to a Stranger,” by New York Times personal finance writer Charlotte Cowes, which illustrates how easily someone can be convinced into parting with their savings.
And, yes, I’ve been scammed myself – not on a dating site but by someone who posed as my 23-year-old daughter via a text message and asked for money. I sent $1,800 by e-transfer to a complete stranger, thinking it was my daughter. You can read that story here.
So, yes, it can happen to anyone. And if it’s happened to you, know that you are not alone.
Resources that can help prevent you from being scammed:
Check out Are We Dating the Same Guy Facebook groups (read our blog post on this group).
Listen in on podcasts presented by Pink Lady Against Scammers.
Learn how to perform a reverse search on someone’s photo to determine if they are who they say they are.
Advice on avoiding romance scams from the Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre.
