No date on Valentine’s? Don’t despair
Valentine’s Day is two weeks away. We think too much fuss is made around this day ($70 for a dozen roses? You've got to be kidding!). But if you are a single woman over 50 who is interested in meeting someone special, the day can be a painful reminder of your single status. We get it. We’ve been there.
Studies show almost one-third of people over 50 report feeling lonely. A lot of women would love to meet a great guy (or gal) but have no idea how to master online dating, especially if they are divorced, separated, or widowed and haven’t had a date in decades. A lot of our clients fall into that category.
Understandably, they are anxious about online dating. It doesn’t help that there are a lot of stories about swindlers and scammers out there. Despite all the negative news about online dating, we like to focus on the positive — how 40% of people are in partnerships that began online and 25% of people in their 50s are using dating apps. We hear about older folks who have met online all the time — among our clients and friends, in the media and, of course, that’s how we met (thank you, Tinder!)
For example, here’s what Gail Mercer-MacKay of Peterborough, Ontario, had to say about taking our workshop recently:
“Even though I am confident in most areas of my life, I was incredibly nervous about using online dating sites to meet someone. The Chapter Two Dating workshop was exactly what I needed. I learned a framework and an approach that would work for me and allow me to safely and confidently navigate digital meetups. Within a few days of taking the workshop I was having great conversations with interesting people, some of those dialogues led to in person coffee/dinner dates and one has now moved on to something more special with a person who shares my interests and values. I highly recommend this program for anyone on this journey.”
What did Gail (and others who have had online dating success) do right?
A few things, including:
Have a great profile: This is number one for a reason. A compelling bio that reflects your personality, interests and aspirations is likely to attract like-minded individuals. Great photos are key. (We cover all the things you need to know about having a great bio in our online dating workshop, How to Get Great Dates (the next one will be held on Wednesday, March 20 from 5-7:30 p.m.).
Persevere: You may not meet the right person right away and will have to go on a number of dates (Anne met 20 men before meeting Amit). Stick with it and it will pay off.
Be discerning: Don’t worry if you have to swipe left on dozens of people to select the one that seems to be aligned with what you are looking for. Don’t lower your standards.
Get used to the apps: Take the time to familiarize oneself your chosen dating app, seek help if needed (again we are here to assist), and approach the experience with an open mind. The apps are designed to be user-friendly for people of all ages.
Have realistic expectations: Be careful about looking for instant chemistry or a fairy tale romance. Recognize that building connections takes time. Being patient and enjoying the process rather than focussing on an ideal outcome can lead to more satisfying relationships.
Learn the skills you need to stay safe: Once you learn a few basic safety measures (never correspond with someone who lives more than an hour away from you, for instance, and be wary of anyone who isn’t willing to meet in person), you’ll feel more confident about the whole online dating experience.
Learning to navigate the world of virtual romance allows you to discover the meaningful connections that can lead to lasting companionship and increased happiness. And we’re here to help!
