5 Ways to Handle Online Rejection
It happens to every one of us at one time or another – someone just doesn’t feel the same way about us as we do about them. “It’s not you, it’s me,” they’ll say. Still, you can’t help but feel….maybe it is you.
And when it happens when you are over 50, well, it can hurt just as much as it did in high school.
And that’s understandable—and entirely normal.
It’s weird—in the online dating world you can be rejected even before you’ve had a chance to meet someone face to face. You strike up a great texting or phone conversation with a guy—maybe you even have a date set. You get your hopes up about meeting him and then, poof! He stops responding to your texts, disappears from the site altogether or stands you up and you are left wondering what the heck happened.
Congratulations, you’ve joined the hundreds of thousands of people who have been ghosted.
Here are a few tips that can help ease the upset of rejection:
1. You are not alone! No, it’s definitely not you. A new poll conducted by the dating app Plenty of Fish found that 43% of daters have been ghosted and 40% have been stood up for a date. Unfortunately, this happens a lot. Fortunately, there are strategies you can adopt to lessen your chances of this happening to you (we teach them in our online workshop).
2. Remember, the online world is much different than “real life”: Sadly, people are not always gracious online and they don’t always have the best manners. This is why it’s so important to never get too invested in someone you have never met or spoken to in real life. Be friendly, but wary until you meet them.
3. Don’t ever take anything personally: In the online world, it’s necessary to develop a protective coating to avoid getting hurt. Remember, you have no idea what’s going on in the lives of potential dates—perhaps after initial contact with you they realize they aren’t sure of what they want, or maybe their ex comes back, or something happens in their lives to make them take a step back from dating. Don’t assume it’s you, because most often, it isn’t.
4. Move on quickly: Don’t waste time with “what if’s” and “should haves” with someone who has ghosted you or disappointed you before even meeting. Remember, just like with buses, there is always another potential date around the corner and you can catch the next one!
5. Do a bit of self-analysis:
Consider whether maybe there was something you could have done differently with someone who disappeared. Was your message too generic perhaps? Are you striking the right tone with your dating profile? Are you keeping it positive? Maybe you were reaching out to someone who listed requirements that you don’t fit? Communication on dating apps can be tricky. Reflect—don’t obsess—on how you might handle things next time.
If you’re feeling a little deflated and could use a fresh set of eyes on your profile, we’d be happy to help. Find out more here.
